POWER RANKINGS: If each team was an EastBound and Down Character

Green Team: Roy Mcdaniel - He is the scout for the tampa bay rays who finds Kenny down in the Mexico League. Just looking at this character and him having a few lines i knew he would relate a lot to the green team.
”Kenny Powers, it is time to quit tickling balls and start sucking your dream's dick”. - Roy

Baby Blue - Stevie Janikowski - He is the underdog in the show who loves Kenny and does whatever he wants. He is also gross looking much like baby blues record on the ice.

Red Team - Ashley Schafer - Ashley is vain, charismatic, violent, vengeful, lustful, loud, arrogant, and very, very self-assured. I copied that off the wiki page of Ashley Schafer and it is red team to a t minus Billy.

Black Team - Principal Cutler - Just the good vibes guy for the good vibes team. He also doesn’t get the girl.

Royal Blue -Reg Mackworthy -”Tight dick, playa” - Reg Mackworthy